Rather than Dark Souls I's potted history of the world for you to think about as you murder all the participants, the Dark Souls II intro cinematic merely depicts you, deciding that blindly jumping into a portal is exactly as topping an idea as it first seemed. I've gotten three of four Great Souls, and so far DSII is much less about the world and much more about you, globe-trotting soul-harvesting reverse Santa Claus. And after a rather over-long opening cutscene in which a bunch of old women talk at you like a pack of slightly tiddley aunts at a wedding asking why you haven't found yourself a nice boyfriend yet, you set out to acquire four Great Souls which will in some way help.įull disclosure, I've not finished the game yet, 'cus I've only been playing for about a 30-hour stretch at time of writing, or as it's known in the Dark Souls community, a 'sample'. Your quest at the outset is to find a cure for your undead status, 'cus fuck all this 'being immortal' shit, a quest that takes you to the land of Drangliec, which is different to Lordran because it's got the 'dran' part in the front bit this time. Oh well.ĭark Souls II is the third game in a series that began with Demon's Souls (which I was thinking I should go back and try again sometime, but apparently we don't count it anymore), in which you play a cursed being on a quest for some kind of enlightenment, and must best a series of castles, dungeons, and bosses by doing the equivalent of firing yourself at them from a cannon an infinite number of times. Good or bad, that second box isn't gonna get a fair assessment, is it? 'Cus I've still got jammy hands and type-2 diabetes. I've just gotten through a big box of lovely jam doughnuts with cream on top, and now someone's come in with another big box of jam doughnuts and asked for my opinion. And yes, I did just imply that not being into Dark Souls is equivalent to a major, destructive personality flaw. I know I only just got on board the Dark Souls pain train, (Choo-choo, all aboard for driving straight into a brick wall!) but no-one's more critical of drinking than a former alcoholic.

I worry I may be a little too far in to review Dark Souls II with any kind of detachment. This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Dark Souls 2. Dark Souls 2: Of Missing Monsters and Bustling Bases

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